Caldwell Arena Driving Trial
Mad Girl Stories
My horoscope for the day of the ADT (Saturday November 12, 2011) had 5 stars. It’s about time I finally achieved a full-Monte inkling as to how my day would transpire. And I quote (for July, Leo) “You naturally find yourself surrounded by friends…” Mark (the husband) is a Taurus and his 3 star rating read, “Treat yourself well. ….How about just taking off for the day doing what you want?” Thank you very much Missy Jacqueline Bigar of the Houston Chronicle.
Well it is official. Ms. Bigar is indeed a psychic.
Our HACA president, Al Bulgawicz, had a wild hair one bright sunny day and thought, “hey, I haven’t been in charge of an ADT for awhile so why not repeat the fun?”
I imagine him conjuring up this eureka moment while happily drinking at home watching the biggest screen TV I’ve ever seen outside of Mattress Mac Gallery Furniture. And I would be remiss if I didn’t add that his grandiose TV is nestled inside an equally grandiose wall-sized cabinet that can’t even display all of his gazillion trophies and ribbons. Can anyone explain to me how this imposing figure of a man who has a huge house, huge TV, the hugest collection of winner paraphernalia this side of Chester Webber has managed to marry a petite wife and own the cutest VSE herd in America? Some questions defy answering.
But I digress.
Let me draw a picture of the Caldwell arena. Imagine a really tall metal building surrounded by a dozen different types of fencing hobbled together that basically make little to no sense to me. The City of Caldwell/Burleson County, though, did indeed build this structure with a plan. They host a plethora of horse shows and I’d say most of them have to do with western/rodeo events. The metal arena is almost but not quite large enough for a 40 meter by 80 meter dressage arena and the space would have been much larger if not for a box-like room at one end that is hoisted precariously high near its ceiling. To get to that elevated box you have to climb some serious steps and a scary ramp. I had more than a few fleeting thoughts about 16-year-old kids in that lofty box, but again I digress… This box was the command headquarters for our event. Karen Garrett was our lovely ADS judge and it was freaky to see only her head floating in the window overlooking the arena floor.
Keith Yutzy was the Technical Delegate. As we drove past Keith a few times, we asked if he wanted a ride somewhere and he’d just laugh as he spun into a blur of fast moving energy. Why our government hasn’t grabbed Keith and placed him in a room for secret testing remains a mystery to me.
Keith made sure that all the drivers and their passengers adhered to the OFFICIAL RULES. And Keith is literally the only one in the entire state of Texas who knows the official rulebook. I think it’s probably something like a million pages. I often feel he’s making up the rules as he deems fit but if you infer that he has taken creative license he’ll just rattle off the correct page number as a reference. I saw more than one young kid skedaddle away from Keith if there was no helmet in hand mumbling something that sounded like “Mr. Yuzeee”.
Linda Yutzy was the scorekeeper. I must share my insight about Linda for all those not lucky enough to be her partner in horse crime: her brain is a scary place for normal habitation. She has been maniacally developing a computer program that can help all of the sad, math handicapped folks who reluctantly agree to score at shows. Can anyone really explain how Linda managed to post the results of the day within 30 minutes of the event without supernatural abilities? Maybe our government has been unable to locate Keith because Linda has the ability to scramble their locations.
If Al is like Dumbledore to our merry band of driving wizards then Terry Arnold is THE head of the Ministry of Magic. Terry is the chair of the Events Committee and it must have been a bit unnerving for that unsuspecting guy who at 8:00 a.m. innocently mentioned that he was a volunteer and Terry shrieked “You’re MINE!”
To continue with “my picture” of this event, the color of the day could only be described as “Martha Stewart Calm”. Al, our leader, seemed like he was moving at about 5 miles an hour. He was oddly unperturbed. I checked to see if he was drinking some special Kool-Aid or taking handfuls of little pills but nope. He spent the entire day smiling. You decide.
There were many other highlights besides Al’s smile, our judge’s floating head, Keith’s ability to be everywhere at the same time and Linda’s scoring miracles.
I admit in public that the mini’s made me laugh uncontrollably. Debbie Price’s, Clyde, was so adorable that I became hysterical as they entered the arena and I must have been the picture of insanity to all participants as I gasped for air. Her fuzzy bear-ball of a VSE trucked out with his head down and with his chest mightily poised to pull his carriage and driver through that arena sand all the while managing to maintain his brash “look at me” attitude. Thoughts of stuffing that fur ball and placing a jolly Santa with a bag load of gifts on Clyde’s back kept popping unmercifully into my head.
If the mini’s had everyone mesmerized with their little moving hooves then it was quite the day for fancy Friesians.
Sandy Smith drove her gorgeous Friesian to 3 blue ribbons. In case our HACA shenanigans are clandestine topics for spies and other cohorts it is a known fact that Sandy’s precious voice has the ability to cut diamonds and should definitely be added to my ever-growing list for government testing.
Douwe Plantinga made the ground literally move in the arena with his Friesian pair. The next time he enters an event don’t be surprised to see me fall flat on the ground in anticipation of a full body massage. And it’s a testament to Denise Hinders driving abilities that she was able to prevent that beautiful Friesian from jumping out of it’s skin during dressage.
Speaking of ground moving events, Cat Cook made her first driving appearance since last spring’s aerial flying maneuver with her carriage and horse. I won’t be graphic here but “bones jumping out of skin” was pretty accurate. It was great to see her again with all her bones and smiles in place.
This brings me to my spoiler alert for the next Caldwell ADT.
Several of the horses/drivers appeared unfamiliar with an arena event. The smaller size, the flapping dressage signage, people casually hanging onto the fencing (the same fencing holding the flapping dressage letters) and the floating head in the sky (the judge) made some of them nervous. In retrospect, our four-legged partners would have benefitted greatly from a leisurely walk in the arena earlier that morning and perhaps our dressage scores would have reflected some lower digits. Once our equine friends were familiar with the arena the thrills subsided considerably. But these same problems could also make a great argument for participating in such events.
The day ended with all the driving folks joyously screaming for another Caldwell ADT and Al Bulgawicz looking even more pleased that the day ended without mishap.
Even minus the benefit of Ms. Bigar’s prescient horoscope tips for the day I can safely bet that you will fully enjoy next years Caldwell ADT event. Many thanks all around to our Judge, our TD, our Score Keeper and all the volunteers, driving folks and blessed organizers who contributed towards some very happy HACA hoopla .